Feature: The Wedding List

Planning a wedding is not at all an easy task unless you have your own Wedding Planner. I was lucky enough to have 5 talented sister in laws who did most of my planning for my wedding and left me to sort out my Hantaran Gifts, my Make-up Artist, Photographer and Videographer only. They were in charge of setting up and preparing for our Bersanding Ceremony, our Berbedak Ceremony, Our Wedding Attire and everything else. Your budget is the first most important thing before planning any wedding. You must ask yourself, How lavish do I want this wedding? and How much money do I have saved up? and the best question of them all, Will mummy & Daddy pay for it?

Of course, the Groom-to-be has to be well-prepared too as he has to think about the pre-wedding ceremonies, such as the Berisik-risik (Introduction) and the Majlis Bertunang (Engagement). Before these two functions, the Groom-to-be has to take note of a couple tasks that has to be done. The Bride-to-be also has to take note on a few things to ensure that her future husbands family feel welcomed when they come to visit. I will list them out to make it easier for you to follow.

BERISIK -RISIK CEREMONY

For the Groom

Purchasing of a ring
Cincin Pembuka Mulut often is just a simple gold ring. Many have opted for white gold solitaire rings but personally I would suggest a plain yellow gold band. This, in the future can be passed on to your children and would not be outdated.

Money
Usually beside the ring is often a frame with a hundred dollar note inside. The value you would to put in this frame is absolutely up to the Groom.

For the Bride

Catering for guests
Often the number of guests you will receive from the Groom's side can vary from 30 to 60 people. Try and get an estimate from your future beloved how many people will be attending and do not forget to estimate how many family members are on your side.

Tents
There are some catering companies that rent out the tents along with the food, such as Andaman Restaurant and Khaz Corner restaurant. It would be much cheaper and a time-saver to find catering companies that do.

MAJLIS BERTUNANG

For the Groom

Purchasing of the Engagement Ring
A tip for the future grooms: More and more young ladies out there opt for that beautiful white gold solitaire diamond ring, the western traditional engagement ring. The bigger the diamond the better. But, I could be wrong, maybe your loved one is into yellow gold, maybe platinum so please do check what kind of ring would be best for her. One that you know she will use.

Money
As in the Berisik-risik ceremony, money also comes with this engagement ring. An amount ranging from BND$100 to BND$ 300.

For the Bride

Catering for Guests
As done during the Berisik-risik ceremony, find out the estimate of the guests from the Groom's entourage and do not forget to include an estimation of your family members.

Tents
Can be rented along with the catering at various catering companies in order to save time and money.

Attire
Most engagement ceremonies nowadays have adopted the Malaysian tradition of 'Menyarungi Cincin'. If your future in-laws opt for this certain ritual, you may have to make sure that you look your best.

Photographer
One does not often get engaged more than once, therefore this ceremony is somewhat a once in a lifetime ceremony and so it would be absolutely great if you had someone to capture those precious moments of your engagement day. If you are not able to hire a professional photographer, make sure you find a relative with a relatively good camera and who enjoys taking photos to handle this task for you.


Upon completion of the two pre-wedding ceremonies, a bride and groom can then sit down and discuss how many ceremonies will they celebrate to mark their love for each other. Nowadays, certain ceremonies are done quietly with just family members of the household, such as the berbedak mandi and malam berpacar. Yet the major ceremonies that are often celebrated are the Nikah ceremony, Berbedak ceremony and the Bersanding ceremony. Here is the wedding list that could help you start off your wedding planning.

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PREPARATION LIST FOR
MAJLIS HANTAR BERIAN , NIKAH , MALAM BERBEDAK AND BERSANDING

For the Groom

Upon Confirmation of Dates
! Get application form from the Ministry of Religious Affairs
! Dates of Marriage Course classes should be given
! Signature of the Ketua Kampong will be required
Gifts for Hantaran
! How many trays are intended
! Purchasing of wedding Ring
! Purchasing of the gifts for your loved one
! Decoration of gifts
Catering
! How many invited guests expected for each function
! Rental of Tents for three functions
! Choose Menu accordingly (lunch / hi-tea / dinner)
! Find out payment of catering per head
! Set aside budget for catering
Attire
! Choose colour theme of three functions
! Decide on whether you would like to use traditional Songket or Satin for Nikah ceremony
! Attire to be made or rented
! Purchasing of new Shoes & socks
! Traditional Attire to be rented
Photographer
! Choose a photographer you feel comfortable with
! Have a look at his portfolio
! Check if he is free for your dates of ceremonies
! Discuss the payment fees
! Deposit
Videographer
! Choose a videographer you feel comfortable with
! Have a look at the coverage of weddings he has done
! Check if he is free to cover your ceremonies
! Discuss the payment
Invitation Cards
! Choose a theme colour for your invitation card
! Type out 'Wakil Yang Berharap' list
! Draft the Nikah/Berbedak/Bersanding invitations for the Printing company
Souveniers
! Budget per souvenier
! Survey more than 2 shops for gifts
! Estimate number of guests for each function
! For customized paper bags, check with your local printing company for prices
Penganun
! Ask your parents or relatives who would be best
! Set aside budget for sedekah
Pelamin for Majlis Malam Berbedak
! Set aside a budget for rental of pelamin
! Survey Bridal Boutiques for different designs
! Discuss with the pelamin designer and mention the colour theme of your Berbedak outfit
! Get measurements of the space where you intend to put the pelamin (height & width)
For the Malam Berbedak
! Inquire at your local mosque for "Dzikir" people
! Set aside sedekah for Dzikir people
! Bunga Telur for guests


For the Bride

Gifts for Balas Hantaran
! Find out how many trays are intended
! Purchasing of wedding Ring for Groom? Engraved?
! Purchasing of the gifts for your loved one
! Decoration of gifts
Catering
! How many invited guests expected for each function
! Rental of Tents for three functions
! Choose Menu accordingly (lunch / hi-tea / dinner)
! Find out payment of catering per head
! Set aside budget for catering
Attire (including Jewellery and Shoes)
! Decide on the design of your Nikah, Berbedak and Bersanding outfits.
! Attire to be made or rented
! Purchasing of new Shoes each to match the outfits
! Rental of traditional wedding attire for berbedak ceremony
! Rental, purchasing or borrowing of Jewellery
Make-up Artist & Hair stylist
! Find a make-up artist you feel comforatble with
! Decide on whether you would like your hair to be done or will be wearing tudong
! Get a quotation of prices of their services
Penganun
! Ask your parents or relatives who would be best
! Set aside budget for sedekah
Photographer
! Choose a photographer you feel comfortable with
! Have a look at his portfolio
! Check if he is free for your dates of ceremonies
! Discuss the payment fees
! Deposit
Videographer
! Choose a videographer you feel comfortable with
! Have a look at the coverage of weddings he has done
! Check if he is free to cover your ceremonies
! Discuss the payment
Bedroom Renovation/Decoration
! Decide on whether you will be renovating or just decorating
! Set aside a budget
! If painting or renovating, make sure its not done too close to the wedding day
! Survey Linen for Bedding to purchase OR rent from Bridal boutiques
Invitation Cards
! Choose a theme colour for your invitation card
! Type out 'Wakil Yang Berharap' list
! Draft the Nikah/Berbedak/Bersanding invitations for the Printing company
Souveniers
! Budget per souvenier
! Survey more than 2 shops for gifts
! Estimate number of guests for each function
! For customized paper bags, check with your local printing company for prices
Pelamin
! Set aside a budget for rental of pelamins
! Decide on whether you want just one pelamin or different ones for each ceremony
! Survey Bridal Boutiques for different designs
! Discuss with the pelamin designer and mention the colour theme of your outfits
! Get measurements of the space where you intend to put the pelamin (height & width)
For the Nikah Day
! Rental of the Four Dians(Big candles) and Kasur Namat (cushion) at Bridal Boutiques
! Microphone & Sound system (optional)
! Confirm attendance of your Wali & Witnesses
For the Malam Berbedak
! Inquire at your local mosque for "Dzikir" people
! Set aside sedekah for Dzikir people
! Bunga Telur for guests

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I do hope this list could be of help for those of you who are planning your wedding. Bear in mind this is not proper list. They are plenty more tasks to be done but this list might just help you kick start your planning. Although I am not an official wedding planner, I do enjoy giving ideas and suggestions, so if you would like a few pointers feel free to email me at akadnikaheditor@hotmail.com.

FOR A PROPER WEDDING LIST, PLEASE EMAIL ME. DIFFICULTY WITH POSTING IT HERE.